Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
