Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Randomize
