my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
