The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He shit in the fireplace
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
