And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
