he puts the penis in happiness.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
