I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
