Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Sober January is a disaster.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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