I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
