Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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