The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
