FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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