do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
