WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
