I'm gonna have a badass scar
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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