It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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