He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
