Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
