Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
