do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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