I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
