Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I wish there were birth control emojis
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
My dick has a subreddit
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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