my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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