Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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