So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
