He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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