Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
