idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
