I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
