using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
