I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
