perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
