Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
