I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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