This girl is more easily done than said...
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
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