she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
