I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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