I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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