I wish I could punch you in the face.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm passing your future prison.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
