sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
