even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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