You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
