Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
