epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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