when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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