ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
