There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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