thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
