Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
