The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
