I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
